Lunacy in the Lavatory
by Pola
Summary: Hiei breaks Kurama's sink and they get stuck in the bathroom with a couple of other loonies!


            Disclaimer: I don't own any YYH characters, but my obsessed friends wish they did. Rynn and Eluria do not belong to me. I own Virrez. I don't own The Little Mermaid, Milky Way candy bars, Home Depot, Ranch Dressing, Italian Vinaigrette, or Chicago hard rolls. Don't worry, it will all make sense. 

A/N: I know characters are OOC (out of character), but that is intentional. 

**Lunacy in the Lavatory  **

            "Hiei! What'd you do to my sink?!" Kurama shouted as he walked into his bathroom. There he saw Hiei with a faucet handle in one hand and another hand defending him from the water shooting out everywhere. 

            "It wasn't me! Eluria set me up!" 

            "What are you talking about? I just saw her and Virrez watching me suspiciously on my way in," Kurama said pointing toward the front door. Just then, the waterspout exploded nearly missing Kurama's shoulder. He leaned back and did one of those Matrix moves. 

            "Liar," Hiei accusingly held up the faucet handle that he was holding and pointed it at Kurama. Suddenly the water stopped, and Virrez and Eluria peered around the corner. 

            "It's her! She set me up!" Hiei exclaimed pointing at Eluria. 

            "She set you up…to break my sink," Kurama said sarcastically. Virrez looked down at the waterspout that was now laying a foot away from the bathroom door, and then took a step in before slipping on the soapy water left behind by Kurama's soap collection. In confusion, Eluria grabbed the door behind her and closed it. Virrez landed against Hiei, who was soaking wet. 

            "Umm…" Eluria tried to open the door, but it was jammed. 

            "Let a man handle this," Kurama stepped forward, but also couldn't open the door. Virrez stared at Eluria, Kurama, and then Hiei. 

            "Don't say it!" Kurama said as he held up a finger to Virrez's face. She took a breath in. 

            "No, don't!"

            "We're stuck in a _bathroom_," Virrez said as she pointed to the tub, broken sink, and toilet. 

            "He told you not to say it," Hiei glared darkly at Virrez. 

            "Call someone," Eluria suggested, "on their cell phone." Hiei started to pull something out of his pocket, but it was only a sandwich. 

            "Sorry, but I don't bring my cell to the bathroom," Virrez exclaimed. After a little arguing, they started to clean up the mess that the sink fiasco produced. Later, they heard the phone ring. 

            "Must…answer…phone," Eluria desperately tugged at the door handle. It broke off. The other side of the door handle fell off. Kurama rubbed his temples. The answering machine started up. 

            "Hi, you've reached Kurama's house, uh, he can't come to the phone right now cause, uh, he's taking care of the green bees that have taken over his microwave. Just leave a message-Hiei, what are you doing?--Step away (Door slams in distance) Oh shit, Kurama's home-Run!-No Hiei, this way (You hear a chair falling over) You klutz!-Shut up!" Kurama was mortified when he heard this. 

            "You mean that's what has been playing for the last week?" Kurama turned to Hiei. 

            "Uh, three weeks," Virrez gave an innocent smile. The caller started to leave a message. 

            "Hey Kurama! I remember when Hiei was recording it, and I saw him…I mean, it wasn't me, or Hiei. Oh wait, his name was in it…damn. My name wasn't in it thought, he he. Oh well, I just called to see if you were home, and I see you're not, so I'm gonna come over and eat all your ice cream. Kay? Bye," Rynn left a cheerful message. 

            "Not the sweet snow!" Hiei wailed. 

            "Kurama? Your mom's on vacation right?" Eluria asked. 

            "Yes."

            "When is she coming back?" 

            "In 15 days," Kurama replied. 

            "Wouldn't it be awkward for her to come home to a bathroom stuck with 2 girls and 2 guys?" inquired Virrez.  

            "And Rynn on the sofa watching TV," Hiei added. 

            "She's gonna stay here?" Kurama's jaw dropped. 

            "If no one's home, yes," said Eluria. The front door opened and Rynn stepped inside. 

            "Ice cream?" She opened the freezer and saw no ice cream. She then opened the refrigerator and again saw nothing good to eat. "I'm gonna raid Kuwabara's house for ice cream," She walked out without even noticing that her friends were trapped in the bathroom. 

            "She left," Hiei stated the obvious. 

            "We realized that," Eluria sat down on the edge of the bathtub. The phone rang again and Kurama's message played once more

            "Hey, I need to talk to Hiei about Operation S.I.N.K (say the individual letters, not the word it spells), if you know what I mean Hiei," Kuwabara left a message. Silence screamed among the helpless friends. One person dared to break the silence.

            "Wait, Kurama, the last time I was here we played 'Hide Kurama's Cell Phone'," Virrez said looking toward the towel closet. 

            "You played what?!" Kurama put his hands on his hips. 

            "Hands off the hips, Kurama," advised Hiei. Kurama quickly flushed and his hands fell to his sides. 

            "We played 'Hide Kurama's Cell Phone'," Virrez opened the towel closet and reached for the towel on the very bottom of the stack that had The Little Mermaid prints on it. She unfolded it to reveal a cell phone. 

            "My cell phone!" Kurama lunged for it. So did Hiei. Hiei got to it first.

            "You can have it back as long as you tell me what it was doing in a Little Mermaid towel," taunted Hiei. 

            "It has sentimental value," Kurama mumbled under his breath as he quickly grabbed for his cell phone. Hiei looked at the towel he held in his hands in his hands and chuckled to himself. 

            "And when did this 'game' take place?" asked Eluria. 

            "When Kurama was running up and down the street covered in maple syrup and cashews thinking this was the only way to get rid of the squirrels that had made a nest in his bathroom cabinet," Hiei said as he reminisced about the weekend that had led to Kurama running up and down the street covered in maple syrup. He had sneaked a squirrel into the bathroom, cleared the cabinet under the sink, and made the beginning of a nest. 3 days later, the single squirrel made a large nest and within another few days, tunneled an intricate tunnel way through Kurama's walls. Then the weekend after Hiei snuck in the squirrel, he found at least five more squirrels. Eventually Kurama found out and was scared to death to go to the bathroom thinking the squirrels had made a tunnel that connected to the toilet's pipes and would attack him while he had to go. Hiei and Rynn convinced Kurama that the only way to get the squirrels out was to cover him with maple syrup and cashews and run up and down the street with a medieval pointy hat on his head. As Rynn and Hiei set him off down the street, Virrez stepped onto her driveway and yelled, "Faster Kurama, the squirrels are gaining!" She then ran to Kurama's house and found his cell phone, car keys, jar of peanut butter, and a Milky Way candy bar. Rynn, Hiei, and Virrez each took and object or two and hid it. Virrez took the cell phone and Milky Way candy bar. She hid the cell phone in the Little Mermaid towel that she knew Kurama wouldn't take out, for fear of someone seeing him with it, and hid the candy bar in Kurama's bowling shoes. In fact, she didn't even know Kurama had bowling shoes until she stepped into his closet. Rynn took the jar of peanut butter and hid it in Kurama's medicine cabinet. Finally, Hiei took the car keys and hid them along with Kurama's socks. While this was happening, Yusuke looked out his window and saw a maniac figure running down the street with a pointy hat and what looked to be nuts and syrup yelling, "You'll never catch me now you evil squirrels!" Yusuke's eyes moved to the portion of street behind Kurama and saw only a couple pigeons. He turned for the phone and called the police. 

            "I told myself not to move so close to the asylum!" Yusuke cursed under his breath. Back to Virrez, Rynn, and Hiei: After playing their game, they sat and waited until the police would show up at their door asking if they knew Kurama because some neighbor called in saying they saw him running around the street like a moron. Someone rang the doorbell and Hiei answered it. 

            "Do you know this gentleman?" asked one of the police officers. 

            "Kinda, he looks like someone I know, let me call one of my friends over," Hiei leaned into the house and called Rynn over to the door. "Do you know him?"

            "Uh, yeah…it's something like Keiko," Rynn scratched her head. She called Virrez over. 

            "Keiko!? It's me," Kurama's sentence was cut off by one of the officers.

            "Wait, wait, it's KURAMA!" Rynn smiled widely. The officers let Kurama go and gave him a word of advice.

            "Don't do anything like that again," The officers warned Kurama and left. Kurama stared hard at the three pranksters. Virrez broke the moment.

            "At least the squirrels are gone," Virrez said optimistically. 

            "They are?" Rynn looked at Virrez. Nobody had shooed the squirrels out. 

            "Of course they are you idiots, didn't you see them chasing after Kurama?" Hiei gave a little nudge to Rynn, who then nudged Virrez, who started to nudge Kurama, but realized he wasn't in on the joke. 

            "He he," Virrez laughed nervously, "Okay well I gotta go now I have…stuff to do. Bye Kurama, have a nice day." She walked out laughing. END OF FLASHBACK

            "You tricked me?!" Kurama yelled at Virrez and Hiei. "I actually thought that running down the street looking like I did would get rid of the squirrels!" Eluria laughed. 

            "That is pretty funny though," Eluria laughed, but then stopped when her eyes met Kurama's dead serious face, "Okay, so not funny."

            "Did Yusuke know about your joke?" 

            "No, but we knew that some neighbor would call in to report a maniac," Virrez replied to Eluria's question. 

            "Okay, so what else have you done to ruin my life?" asked Kurama.

            "We didn't prank you to ruin your life, we just… played a practical joke," replied Virrez.

            "I'm sorry," said Hiei quietly with his head hung looking at his shoes. 

            "What'd you say?" Kurama asked, he wasn't sure if he heard correctly. 

            "I'm sorry," Hiei said a little louder. 

            "I haven't heard you apologize for anything," Kurama smirked at Hiei. 

            "I'm sorry, OKAY? Now drop it," Hiei angrily made eye contact with Kurama. 

            "I'm sorry too Kurama," Virrez gave a light hug to Kurama. 

            "See, I would do that, but it would look wrong," Hiei explained after Virrez gave Kurama a hug. 

            "Somebody's unloved," Eluria joined the conversation and hugged Hiei. 

            "Don't touch me," Hiei said just as she was going to touch him. The doorbell rang. And rang and rang. It was driving the trapped friends insane. 

            "Just come in!" Eluria yelled hoping whoever was at the front door would hear her. 

            "Hiei?" Kuwabara stepped inside. 

            "Kuwabara in here!" Kurama yelled. They heard him walk down the hallway, but passed the door to the bathroom. 

            "Kuwabara, you knucklehead, we're in the bathroom!" Hiei yelled and pounded on the door. They heard footsteps leading up to the door and then stop. 

            "Hiei, do you need some help in there?" Kuwabara asked through the door. 

            "Yes—I mean no, well, kinda," Hiei quickly replied. 

            "Did you fall in the toilet again?" Kuwabara pressed his ear against the door. 

            "Again? You've fallen in the toilet before?" Virrez asked Hiei skeptically. 

            "Who else is in there?" Kuwabara asked curiously, as he heard other voices, female voices. 

            Eluria sighed, "There's 4 of us here: Hiei, Kurama, Virrez, and me, Eluria."

            "Why are there four of you?" Kuwabara was scared now. 

            "Don't ask questions! Just go and get a powerdrill to unscrew the hinges," ordered Kurama. 

            "Where do I get a powerdrill?" Kuwabara asked himself. Aloud he said, "I'll be right back, but I don't know how fast the service is at Home Depot." He walked out the door. 

            "Home Depot?" asked Virrez uncertainly.

            "He's not the brightest crayon in the box," Eluria commented. 

            "Home Depot is 20 minutes away! I have a powerdrill in the tool shed," Kurama exclaimed as he pounded on the door. 

            "You have a powerdrill?" Hiei asked disbelievingly, "You don't do well with power tools. That's why I never help you with your 'carpentry' projects. Remember the coffee table and the electric nailer?"

            "Oh, I wanna hear," Eluria made herself comfortable on the heap of towels she was sitting on. 

            "Okay one day, after being inspired from the DIY building channel, Kurama wanted to build a coffee table. He called and asked me to help him with the electric nail gun he had gotten. After making Kurama answer a riddle for me to help him, I strolled over to his tool shed. There Kurama was with a bucket of antique wood glaze, a huge plank of plywood, and his electric nail gun with the cord wrapping around himself a couple of  times, then around the paint bucket, under some more power tools and jumbled up with other cords," explained Hiei. Now Virrez sat down and leaned against the wall, interested in Hiei's story. "Kurama stood there helpless so I had to untangle the cords and then find the electric outlet. The electric outlet turned out to be on a row of them on the ceiling. I didn't even bother to question Kurama's choice of placement. Kurama took measurements and then I sat back and watched. I pulled out a lawn chair and enjoyed the show. When Kurama used his table saw to cut out the plywood, the table legs ended up being 4 feet high when he claimed he measured 1 ½ feet. He re-measured the table legs and cut them 1 ½ feet long and made me glaze them with antique wood glaze and then set them out in the sun. After measuring everything and glazing it, Kurama used his electric nailer to nail all the pieces together. I suggested using a hammer and nails, but no, he insisted on using his beloved power tool. From then on, it was chaos. The first nail ended up being nailed toward my foot. The second, at the bucket of glaze. This punctured it sending the glaze everywhere. As I tried to clean it up, Kurama was determined to nail something. He tried to press the handle slowly so he wouldn't nail something before he knew it. However, he didn't know that you have to click it fast and let go. So he nailed 3 in right after the other as a result from the handle being held too long. I couldn't take it any longer so I slipped away. As I was walking away, I heard something crash, an electrical buzz, and screaming. I just kept walking. The end," Hiei finished his story. 

            "Wow, you really are bad with power tools," commented Virrez after hearing the story. 

            "What exactly happened to the coffee table?" Eluria asked. 

            "It was burned," Kurama replied. 

            "So that's what that was. I thought Virrez was roasting chicken with salad dressing again," Hiei said as a disgusted look came upon his face as he mentioned the grilled chicken and salad dressing. 

            "My chicken isn't that bad!" protested Virrez, "Hey, if someone can put Ranch dressing on Buffalo wings, then you can put Italian Vinaigrette on chicken."

            "No, Italian Vinaigrette was meant to put on salads, not chicken. And if you grill it, it smells like something's burning," Hiei explained. 

            "Eluria, tell Hiei that my Italian Vinaigrette chicken is good," she stared hard at Eluria. 

            "Well…," said Eluria uneasily. Virrez rolled her eyes and sighed. Kurama caught her eye. He was sitting in the tub with his head in his arms. 

            "What's wrong Kurama?" Virrez asked. She was happy to get off the subject of the chicken. 

            "I'm claustrophobic," he replied weakly as he made eye contact with Virrez. 

            "Yeah, this bathroom isn't that big with 4 people in it," Hiei observed. Eluria hit him lightly. 

            "Not helping," she whispered to Hiei. 

            "Well, just, uh," Virrez nervously scratched her head for ideas. 

            "Think of wide, green fields, flowering with buttercups," Eluria suggested. 

            "And add some gay pink ponies," Hiei said sarcastically. 

            "Pink ponies scare me," said Kurama. 

            "I thought streaking men did," Hiei said as he remembered when Yusuke ran across town streaking. 

            "That too," added Kurama. 

            "How can you be claustrophobic if you went partying at a place where it was really crowded? Y'know what I'm talking about, Club Infinity. I saw you there," Virrez said narrowing her eyes. 

            "That wasn't me," Kurama said quickly. 

            "Yes it was, you can't miss that long red hair," Virrez said tugging lightly on his hair. 

            "Kurama, you're not claustrophobic, are you?" Eluria asked. 

            "Well, no."

            "Then why act like it?!" exclaimed Virrez. 

            "Because he just wanted attention, since I was getting all of it telling all the stories," Hiei spoke for Kurama. 

            "Yeah. I'm sorry for acting like a jerk," Kurama apologized. They fell silent. The sound of a powerdrill broke the silence. 

            "I'm coming to save you Hiei…and Kurama, and uh, Virrez…and whoever else are in danger!" Kuwabara came running in with a powerdrill. He tried to remember which door it was, ignoring the pounding and shouts from a door farther down the hallway, he looked to his right. He saw a closed door and decided this was the door blocking him from his friends in the bathroom. He began unscrewing the hinges. The door fell and he saw a bedroom with an unmade bed and closed blinds. He scratched his head in confusion. The shouts broke his concentration. 

            "Shut up! I'm trying to think!" Kuwabara yelled down the hall, "Ow, brain cramp." He then heard 'Kuwabara, over here!' He decided his door to unscrew was 'over there.' He raced down the hall and looked to his left. He saw a closed door with light spilling from the cracks in the doorway and rejoiceful laughter. 

            "Yay for Kuwabara!" Virrez exclaimed. 

            "Unscrew the hinges," Kurama ordered. Kuwabara obeyed and unscrewed the hinges and kicked the door down and stood there dazed. 

            "What did I do?" asked Kuwabara. 

            "You saved us!" Eluria exclaimed, giving him a hug. 

            "What about me?" Kurama asked grinning. Eluria smiled and hugged Kurama too. The first thing after getting out of the bathroom, Kurama went straight to his answering machine and unplugged it. 

            "The next thing I have to do is beat up Hiei, Virrez, and Rynn for making me act like an idiot," Kurama said angrily. 

            "Well, now that we're free, you know, from the bathroom, I'll enjoy my freedom. See ya!" Virrez raced out the door.  Kurama glanced fiercely at Hiei. 

            "Tell Rynn I'm looking for her." Hiei acted as though he never heard. He walked out the door and then said "sweet snow" as he remembered Rynn didn't find any in Kurama's freezer. He decided to call Rynn and go for sweet snow. Only Eluria was left. She thought for a while. 

            "Kurama? What about your cell phone?" She asked. 

            "M-my what?" Kurama asked cluelessly. 

            "Your cell phone, you lost it and now found it. You could have called someone on it instead of torturing us in the bathroom. If Kuwabara hadn't have come, and none of us realized that you had your cell phone, we could have been stuck there for the longest time!" Eluria exclaimed. Kurama reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, which still had power in it. He laughed nervously. "You knew it worked, didn't you?!"

            "No," Kurama lied. 

            "You better watch out for your cell phone. Maybe I'll join in the next game of 'Hide Kurama's Cell Phone'."

            "Riiiight, well bye," Kurama hugged Eluria goodbye.

            "See ya Kurama," said Eluria as she walked out the front door. As soon as she closed the door, she exposed a cell phone she pickpocketed from Kurama when he hugged her. She playfully threw it up and caught it with one hand. Back in Kurama's house: He patted his pockets, trying to find his cell phone, and then turned them inside out. For a split second, his mind flashbacked to Eluria saying, "You better watch out for your cell phone. Maybe I'll join in the next game of 'Hide Kurama's Cell Phone'."  Kurama dropped what he was doing and ran out his front door after Eluria. He ran past the narrow opening in the hedges, where he was caught by Hiei and Rynn. They put him in a straight jacket, taped his mouth, and tied him to the streetlight pole. Hiei pulled out Kurama's cell phone Eluria slipped him and called the asylum. 

            "Have fun at the crazy house," Rynn waved bye. Hiei and Rynn caught up with Eluria and Virrez back at Kurama's house where they had Kurama's class ring, remote control to the TV, silver butter knife, a Chicago hard roll, and of course, his cell phone…

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…but that's the beginning of another story. So, please my first YYH fic wih no help, wait, maybe some ideas for lines from a friend who sits next to me on the bus ^_^ Please review. Should I continue? Do you like Rynn, Eluria, and Virrez? I won't continue until I have at least a couple of reviews. 


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